By Mominah Ambreen
Do you remember a strikingly intense moment from your past or near present where you felt that your world was crumbling before your eyes. Your heart aching with enormous pain and eyes trying to resist the tears from falling. You have this sudden discomfort in your entire body. The anxiety taking twists and turns in your stomach, a sudden wave of unexplainable loneliness and emptiness distorting your perception. The aggravated urge to cry at the peak of your voice, the overwhelmed feeling of the experience is making your self-image shatter into pieces.
Regrets, remorse, guilt, heartbreak a state of complete dissociation from reality. Nothing seems to comfort the pain caused. Nothing appears to cool down the heat of burns caused by someone’s words, maybe someone who has left. Such a state of agony and all you want is ‘escape’. Escape in a world of comfort and happiness. Escape from the bad memories and guilt. Escape in a valley where you can voice your heart out. Escape from the pain that has imprisoned your ability to function.
Suddenly out of nowhere, there is this slightly noticeable wave of energy that makes you get up and stand before HIM. You cannot wait to bow down in sujood and cry your heart and soul out silently.
You are there, crying, shaking, trembling, and not wanting to get your head up. The hardness of the floor gives your soul some comfort. The wetness of the prayer mat where your tears are falling gives your heart some warmth. The trembling body is giving you subtle energy and you find yourself whispering silently:
اِنَّمَا اَشْكُوْ بَسِّىْ وَ حُزْنِىْ اِلَلَّلهْ
‘I complain to Allah Alone for my sorrow and grief’
(Surah Yusuf, 12:86)
Almost every one of us at some point in our lives have gone through a situation in which we thought this is the end, a heartbreak that has left unhealable scars or a state that made us feel we have lost control over everything. This is a small reminder about the love of Allah SWT who has always held us when we fall, always opened a door for us when all seemed to be closed, always comforted our hearts at a single call to Him when the world had not been kind to us. Allah’s generosity is beyond comprehension. His love, His mercy cannot be interpreted in the language of the world. No trial, no hardship and no difficulty is inflicted upon us except by what Allah wills. If He is making us go through a difficult time, that is when He is expecting us to be patient and put the entirety of our trust and reliance in Allah alone. Trust and reliance on Allah means to have a strong belief that everything we are going through is being observed by someone greater than our comprehension. His power, His abilities are way more strong and impactful than our own. He knows our pain, He knows our struggles and it is Him who knows what is better for us. Let your heart trust Allah alone for the things you find hard to understand.
It might take a day, a month, a year or even more but what Allah has willed will find its way to you and what is more better than what Allah has willed for us? Let HIM be the supervisor of our plans, the instructor of our projects, the caretaker of our matters and the KING of our decisions.
Nothing is meant to last. Nothing will remain forever. Your heart will find peace one day. Your pain will be compensated. Your sufferings will subside. Your heart will bloom. The broken pieces will fall in place. You will find comfort, trust Allah and have patience surely Allah loves those who put their trust in HIM alone.