The writer is a convert sister from the Scandinavian part of Europe who has been following the activities of the Youth Club through the online realm. She has written this piece exclusively for the Youth Club Blog.
We welcome her to Islam, and pray that Allah grants her steadfastness.
I’ve been raised watching romantic comedies and all kinds of movies. I’ve also wasted a considerable amount of time playing computer games and PlayStation. I was so much into the games, that they became my world. I was obsessed with thinking about how I would get to the next level or get more points, even when I went to school, met friends or ate dinner. I would always feel energized and excited while playing. Watching movies would make me happy- I would imagine my life becoming similar to what I saw.
But the good feelings always disappeared and I needed more. A new game. A new movie. I could never ever get enough. I was truly seeking contentment and peace of heart through these means. But it was like chasing my shadow. I could never have fulfillment from the movies or games. I was left with an emptiness inside.
When I was going to fast my first Ramadan at the age of 19 a short time after my shahada (I’m a convert) I had no idea what to expect. I was just scared and worried, “Will I be able to make it?” In my hometown, there are hardly any Muslims and you can never hear the adhan – there isn’t a single mosque here. I didn’t even have one single family member who was also Muslim.
Since I was a Muslim by choice, I realized that I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know it was Ramadan and that I was obliged to fast. But I doubted my own capabilities… The only One I could ask for help was my Lord, Sustainer, Helper and Guide.
As much as I could, the last few weeks before Ramadan, I would beg
“Oh Allah, this is so hard for me, I don’t know if I can do it. But everything is easy for You, and You can make the difficult easy. So, PLEASE, make it easy for me to fast!! Not just one day or one week. Please make it easy for me to fast the whole month for You. Ameen”
Never ever have I experienced more pleasure, more joy and more peace of heart in my life – as I did that Ramadan. First of all, Allah surely answered my duas!! Alhamdulillah!! The 1st, 2nd & 3rd days were sooo EASY to fast, that I didn’t eat Iftar because I was hungry, but simply because I could. And this was 19 and a half hours after my suhoor. SubhanAllah.
Needless to say, I was completely AMAZED. It was a huuuge imaan-boost. I needed no Muslim in my life to wake me up for Fajr, join me for suhoor or remind me to keep away from drink and food (and lying etc), during the day. Allah SWT was enough for me. Sitting “all alone” with my food before Fajr was one of the the greatest moments in my life. Real diamonds. It was only me and Allah. I was extremely grateful for the food He gave me and for being Muslim and for being of the very few (in my country) to actually be awake before Fajr with the intention to fast.
Before Allah gave me Islam, I would seek peace, happiness and contentment in all kinds of things from this world. Movies, games, music, friendships, popularity/fame, clothes, make-up… Now I realise that nothing came close to what Islam offered me.
Sujud, salah, fasting in Ramadan, covering my head, making duaa, learning profound lessons from the Quran, struggling to recite the Quran, reflecting upon Allah’s creation, Allah’s Beautiful Names, and the verses of the Quran, remembering Allah (dhikr) – this is what brings real joy, peace and contentment to my life (and to my heart).
For anyone who is still searching for peace & happiness in worldly things: Please stop kidding yourself… Please stop listening to Satan – who only wants to pull you away from Allah.
Take a moment to ask Allah the Almighty to guide you to that which can give you real peace in this life and the ultimate reward in the next life… Please ask Allah to guide you back to Him.
And know that Allah truly loves it when His slave returns to Him.
If you think you’re sinning too much or that your life is too far away from the straight path… Remember, that Allah is Extremely Merciful. If your sins were to reach the skies, Allah would not mind forgiving you. He loves to forgive. All you need to do is ask forgiveness. Also, remember that Allah is the Almighty, the All-Powerful. Everything is easy for Him. He brings the dead land back to life. He can bring life back to your heart.
He can change your life completely- the way my life changed.