By Umm ‘Aisha
Our beloved Prophet (sallalahu alaihi wasallam) said: “Indeed Haya (modesty) and Iman (faith) are Companions. When one of them is lifted, the other leaves as well. (Baihaqi)
Haya and Iman- these two remain joined together like Siamese twins!
Today we see shameless and immodest acts being committed openly around us by ‘Muslims’ in ‘Islamic’ countries. Is it a sign that the level of our Iman has decreased so much that Haya is vanishing away?
The important question is: “What does Iman or faith in Allah give us? And how does shamelessness take it away?”
Faith in Allah is something that makes us accountable to One Supreme Being;
it makes us conscious of being ‘watched’,
it strengthens our belief in the Day that is approaching,
it makes us fearful of standing in front of the Rabb of the worlds,
it gives us a goal- a goal that doesn’t just revolve around ‘wake-up, eat, drink, have fun, die- THE END’,
it makes us work for something Supreme.
To sum it up: It makes us slaves of The King who made us his inheritors of this earth. It makes us yearn and strive to be rewarded with the most amazing award imaginable: to see Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala, to be in His Company, and to be His guests in Jannah.
Can someone with such a high aim afford to just play around all his life carelessly? I believe not.
And this is where Haya comes in. When you have such a high aim, such consciousness of Him, and such overwhelming thoughts about the One who owns you- you can’t dare do anything that displeases Him and takes you away from your goal. When a Muslim realizes that his/her life is a struggle, not playful entertainment, it is then that Haya evolves and life truly begins.
Unfortunately, we appear to be living in a Dreamland where everyone is sleeping and chasing that ‘prince/princess’ of their dreams, without whom their life seems empty and worthless.
The essence of Iman has been lost, and the mission has been abandoned!
No one seems to know or care why Allah created them or what being a Muslim implies. Had we understood the reality, we would never have rushed behind a mirage hoping that it ends in marriage, that too in name of: ‘Half my Deen’!
In reality, how many of us have made marriage ‘all my Deen’ or ‘My only Deen’– the only thing we’re concerned about, our only aim in life!
Having said that, people may assume that I don’t regard marriage as an important part of Deen (Na’ozubillah). It’s not so!
I do believe in marriage being half of the Deen as mentioned in a famous Hadith. I believe in marriage being a Halal way to satisfy one’s desires. It is indeed a beautiful Sunnah that can’t be neglected. But when you make it your center of life, the only thing you dream of, the only worry and concern that consumes you – then it does become a problem!
Having read and understood the aim of a Muslim above, understand the position of marriage by this example:
Suppose you are at a point X and you want to reach point Y, and you meet a person who also wants to reach point Y, and you feel that journey will become easier if you both started to travel together- so you both start to travel together.
So you see, that person is just a facilitator in the journey. Just a buddy. A means to the destination. Not the destination. Not the end. And it’s not that without him/her, you can’t move ahead. You can and must continue to travel to point Y with or without that person.
Similarly, you are here to LIVE YOUR PURPOSE. While doing this, if you meet a person, whom you think, can assist you in living your purpose and make the journey of life smooth, you marry that person. That’s marriage- a MEAN not an END.
Understanding this fundamental point can help to solve most of the “love affairs”, rather “lust affairs” insha Allah.